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While we were attending the missionary retreat in Thailand, we received a telephone text message from our pastor in Cambodia (as it's not easy to get through in general) that the covered sports pavilion had fallen down because of strong wind and heavy rain. At that moment, I had a bit of shock, and it occupied my mind to think what to do next. I kept asking in my heart, "Why? What? How?"
When I arrived back in Cambodia, I immediately called the agent, Dara, to meet me at the property with the contractor the next day. The scene was a disaster - not even one column was still standing and the roof was totally collapsed. The contractor, Mr. Vuthol, was very ashamed and he apologized for the frail construction work. The agent guaranteed that they are fully responsible for the whole loss, as the contract stated clearly that the contractor is liable for any repairs or maintenance work for 3 months after the completion of the project. We agreed to reconstruct it but that they must submit working drawings before starting in again. I also consulted with a civil engineer (he is a Malaysian missionary) to find out the main reasons for the collapse. It was discovered that the workmanship of the connections and foundation were not satisfactory to stand up in the strong wind, and that led to the collapse.
As I reviewed the whole issue, I have complicated feelings about the role, spiritual dimension and expectations.
Role: As the project administrator, I am responsible for the consequences, no matter if the main fault is someone else's. I am quite disappointed with the outcome when everything seemed to go smoothly throughout the whole process. I start to question if I have the ability to fulfill this role. Actually, I am not an expert in structural design, and I lack confidence in all aspects of the work. In addition, Cambodian practice is totally different from that of Hong Kong, bringing more confusion over what I think is feasible and workable.
Spiritual Dimension: When something goes wrong, I usually search within myself to see if there is some area in my spiritual life that has problems, or is it an attack of Satan, or is it human fault that has brought about the damage. However, I can see that God is merciful because this collapse did not cause any fatalities - even the cows on the site are safe. It seems that God has laid His hand to test the quality of our work before it is too late (3 months' warranty). I discover that when things seem to be going smoothly, my alertness slackens and I become too light-hearted to supervise closely.
Expectations: I always remind myself that missionaries are not superheroes, capable of doing everything. We have our limitations and weaknesses. However, sometimes the people around us, or even I myself, may expect that we are independent and capable. Frustration and depression arise if I can not attain the goals. To what extent should we expect our performance to be perfect? How do we measure our loyalty to the Lord through our being and doing? There is no easy demarcation to measure our ministries, especially when we are always dragged down with urgent matters and unexpected changes.
At the present, I still don't have a definite solution to all our problems, but I think it is a learning process for our faith in the Lord. I appreciate the many brothers and sisters in the Lord who kindly encourage me. It really means a lot to me. Without your prayers and support, my work is nothing at all. May the Holy Spirit guide me step by step in God's grace and love.
Prayer points
- Pray for the newly elected committee members of the Mission District and the church board members of the Phnom Penh Church. May God grant us committed hearts to build up each other and serve the Lord faithfully.
- Continue to pray for our University graduates, Sokea and Ka Wai, that they can find suitable jobs soon
- We are still seeking an apartment for the university female students' dormitory
- May God grant me faith, strength and joy to serve
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Davis Lam
